Helen Barnett - Former Police Officer and PTSD Survivor

Are you a police officer considering transitioning to the private sector? You’re in the right place. In this episode of The Blue Light Leavers podcast, Andy Labrum speaks with Helen Barnett, a former police officer, and PTSD survivor. Helen was a new mother when she was one of four officers, stabbed a total of ten times whilst dealing with an incident. This along with two further significant incidents caused Helen to be diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and forced to take ill-health retirement. The PTSD manifested itself in bulimia and a relationship breakdown. Many Police Officers will be able to relate to Helen's story. Listen or read on about Helen's struggles, and how she ultimately became a PTSD survivor. Through her ordeals, Helen talks about how she felt like she lost her identity and sense of self-worth and subsequently pushing her boundaries through fitness became her coping mechanism. Helen currently gives back with two amazing charities that changed her life.

Former Police Officer, PTSD Survivor, and Mother

Helen started her career as a cadet, passing out of Training School with the Baton of Honour, much to her surprise. Helen enjoyed her early career, doing what most of us do, by learning quickly, fitting in and generally staying quiet. She was one of the first women to work on shift while having a young child. Her son Ben was born in 1990 and at that time, there was no part-time or flexible shift patterns. Just 4 months later she went back to frontline duties and shift work.

First Traumatic Experience

Helen remembers working a 2-10 PM shift on a warm summer day. She was working with a partner and they got a call that someone was causing a disturbance in the nearby shopping mall. They both thought it was just going to be an ordinary encounter. As she approached the scene, there was a man with his back to her. Suddenly, the man turned around and she found herself flying backwards to the ground. Helen recalls feeling incredible pain and couldn't work out why, so she got up and ran at him again and found herself flying backwards again, noticing blood showing through her white shirt. It transpired he was punching with a knife blade poking through his fingers. She was stabbed in the stomach, two stab wounds in her left arm, and one in the shoulder. In total, four officers were stabbed ten times! Incredibly, some members of the public showed incredible hostility towards them but thankfully a few came to their aid. Helen spent the following few days in hospital. Thankfully, everyone survived their injuries. The attacker was suffering from mental ill-health and was thankfully arrested. 

Officer Safety Manual

There was a positive outcome as a result of this in that the officers involved were able to help with the creation of the officer safety manual and subsequently, batons and stab proof vests were issued. From something so disastrous, something good did happened to change things for the better.

Struggling with PTSD

At the time, stress was a taboo subject, and no one talked about it. There was a bit of a media circus whilst she was recovering. After a few days, she went back home to be a mum to her young son. She'd always thought she was very fit and strong and never thought it would affect her mentally. She had little  understanding of trauma. Instead, Helen tried to work out the anger, sleepiness, and constant flashbacks of the incident. Exercise has been a coping mechanism for Helen her entire life. Once her physical injuries had healed, she went back to work and back on shift work. Helen feels lucky she had really understanding colleagues and the support she received from her team mates was really important.

"Putting on the uniform for the first time was very traumatic. You realise you’re not invincible. It was difficult. Then my marriage started to fall apart. There was a lot of strain going on in my life"

Second Incident: Caught up in terrorist explosions 

In 1993, there were lots of threats from a terrorist group called the Irish Republican Army (IRA). A lot of suspicious packages, code warnings and hoax bomb warnings. Just before Christmas, a bomb threat was received for for the local shopping centre. Every available officer rushed to the scene and Helen and her colleagues started to clear the centre as quickly as they could. There was a sudden explosion from a bin just metres from where she was standing and she was knocked off her feet. Although not injured, she was absolutely terrified. No one knew if another bomb would go off, so the threat was lingering. Sure enough, as Helen recovered and continued to evacuate the building,  moved away from a garbage bin, a second bomb exploded. The bomb went off right beside her but fortunately she was not injured. "It was chaotic, terrifying, and overwhelming". Helen ran into a nearby store to use their telephone. Even in the midst of the chaos, Helen remained rational enough to call home and instruct her mother not to drive into the area as she was due to take her son to a Christmas party. Even after this, life just went on and within a few days, she was back at work again.

PTSD Survivor Recalls Feeling Increasingly Stressed and Tearful

What were Helen's underlying issues after the second incident? Helen recalls becoming increasingly stressed and tearful. She was juggling being a single mum, on top of everything she was dealing with at work. There were additional financial pressures. PTSD just wasn't recognised at that time. There was no support or services for her. Instead, she just had to show up for work and try and compartmentalise the incidents. But, life was becoming increasingly difficult. It was around this time she became bulimic. She would eat for comfort, then make herself sick because she was so into fitness. Helen states, "In hindsight, it was a way to control something".

The third traumatic incident: Boxing day 1994

Despite everything she'd been through, Helen continued to push on and applied for the Met's Armed Response Unit (SO19), becoming the first mum to join the unit. On Boxing Day 1994, Helen's shift was close to finishing and an urgent call came in. There was a domestic abuse situation and her unit was dispatched to the scene. They arrived at the rendezvous point and began to arm up, along with their colleagues. The plan was to approach via a side street and find the suspect who was apparently armed. Unfortunately, the suspect found them before they found him. One colleague shouted, “he’s here”. The other police officers and Helen started moving towards the suspect. He took the gun, pointed it into his mouth, then took it out and Helen heard a big bang and knew instantly she was shot in the knee. Everything just happened so fast, and then everything went quiet. When Helen felt safe, she moved behind the police vehicle and that’s when she felt the pain.

10 Year Police Officer and PTSD Survivor

After ten years in the service, Helen had suffered three traumatic, life-changing experiences. Helen felt she went from a strong, capable person to a voiceless, traumatised, and vulnerable person. She was very angry and would throw her energy into training. All while being a mother to her young son. She experienced a lot of despair. However, she was lucky as her federation representative fought hard for her and managed to secure some funding for treatment. He was thinking way before his time about mental health and personal welfare. At a time that she was struggling to make sense of it all, the federation representative helped her tremendously. 

PTSD Specialist and Ill-Health Retirement from the Police Force

Finally, in 1995, Helen got funding to go on a residential course, with a PTSD specialist. This was the first step to recovery. Helen had to make a decision as she couldn’t go back to the front line and she knew she couldn’t take it anymore. Helen ended up taking ill-health retirement and left the organisation. It was traumatic for her to hand in her warrant card as this was all she'd known. She felt like she lost her identity. Initially, she instructed in gyms and did reflexology. Then she became a mum again which obviously  kept her busy. It was around this time, she broke the British Indoor Concept II rowing record!

Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining

Helen's positive spirit is the reason she became a PTSD survivor. She knew that "Every dark cloud has a silver lining". Even after everything she had been through, she was seeking a way to contribute, to give back. Her son Benjamin called her to be apart of a 24-hour deadlifting World Record attempt. Helen agreed, even though at the time she didn't actually know what a deadlift was! Six months prior to the event, she had lots of anxiety and a loss of self-esteem. Yet, in May 2019, she and her team broke the World Deadlift Record.  At the competition, people offered her help. At this point, she was surprised because, after so much time, she didn’t think she still needed help. Yet, through Jason Fox, a former SAS soldier and TV presenter, she got involved with Rock to Recovery. 

Blue Light Leavers Support

Helen admits that back in the day it would have been lovely to have the support of a group like Blue Light Leavers. Helen talks about how lucky she is and the work she now does with two amazing charities called Rock 2 Recovery and Hidden Valley Bush Craft.  Now she's able to give back and help others. 

How can others recover today and get the right support and help they need?

Helen advises, with the groups that exist through social media, reach out, and make contact. Rock 2 Recovery really helped Helen. The bonus is you can message these groups, without even having to speak to them directly.  "As a victim, you lose your voice" Please reach out and realise that you are not alone. There are so many people out there suffering from mental ill-health. That initial point of contact with someone can set you on a path of hope and recovery. "You won’t feel isolated that you’re the only one". There are so many wonderful people out there that we can reach out to. Helen is so glad she did. She thought she was okay, but she wasn’t. Recovery is all about sharing, and not being ashamed.

Men need to ask for more help

According to Helen, for men, it’s a big issue to ask for help. The key is to not be silent. It’s not a weakness. The suicide rate in men is way too high, over 80 a week. Instead, come together and help. There are other Police Officers and PTSD survivors. You are never alone.

Donate

What can we do to support Hidden Valley Bushcraft and Rock 2 Recovery? Donate directly. Both organisations changed and saved Helen’s life. They currently make a difference in the lives of hundreds. Andy Labrum has donated £50 to Rock to Recovery and £50 to Hidden Valley Bushcraft. Both charities help police officers and PTSD survivors like former Military and Emergency Service and both charities have kindly agreed to be guests on the Blue Light Leavers Podcast in 2020.

Don't forget, you can join the Private Facebook Group.  You can connect with Helen via the Blue Light Leavers private Facebook Group. You can also access a free Emergency Service Professional's Guide to LinkedIn via this link: https://www.bluelightleavers.com/pl/95723. You can access the Blue Light Leavers Facebook Group via here and the Blue Light Leavers website via www.bluelightleavers.com